Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Revelation

Journaling didn't work.  It just made me more frustrated.

But I was laying in bed last night after having eaten ice cream - my blood sugar was high, I felt like crap and I realized I don't want to feel this way.  I liked it when I was eating healthy.   My blood sugar was under control, I had more energy, I wanted to exercise, I wanted to get out and move around, I didn't hurt all the time.

I went to sleep determined to get up and start over - having a healthy breakfast, drinking my water, no snacking.  Then I get up and my water is gone, there's no bananas left, my throat hurts, my hip hurts, I feel like crap.  And I just want to cry and eat.

Is this a test to see if I have the willpower and control to not react negatively?  

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